I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.
DICK GREGORYLove is very dangerous if you just have love and don’t have the ability to be lovable.
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn’t it either. I’m going to be an American Citizen. First-class.
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Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
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You know, I always say white is not a color, white is an attitude, and if you haven’t got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don’t need, you can’t be white.
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When you shoot right and truth and justice down, the more right and truth and justice will rise up.
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Did you know that in New Orleans they still have brown bag parties? What’s that, you ask? You and I go to a party, and when we get to the door, there’s a brown bag hanging down from the ceiling, and if our skin is darker than the brown bag, we can’t go in.
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The most difficult thing to get people to do is to accept the obvious.
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And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.
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Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother’s milk.
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If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.
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When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening – there wasn’t no 24-hour news.
DICK GREGORY -
America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don’t misuse a household pet.
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If all you can do is judge a person by their appearance because you don’t have the spirit to judge someone from within, you’re in trouble.
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I personally believe breathatarianism to be the highest mode of human living breathing in pure air, absorbing the direct light and energies of the sun, bathing in pure water I look at the obituaries every morning and ain’t nobody listed but you eaters.
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I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn’t have what I wanted.
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My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn’t a Christian, she would stomp you to death.
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I tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
DICK GREGORY -
I used to get letters saying, ‘I didn’t know black children and white children were the same.’
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When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
DICK GREGORY -
We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry because we didn’t think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
DICK GREGORY -
Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don’t have the ability to be lovable.
DICK GREGORY -
You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We’re the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
DICK GREGORY -
To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
DICK GREGORY -
Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.
DICK GREGORY -
Once I realized the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
DICK GREGORY -
I tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
DICK GREGORY -
Every door of racial prejudice I can kick down, is one less door that my children have to kick down.
DICK GREGORY