I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
DICK GREGORYThe most difficult thing to get people to do is to accept the obvious.
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.
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If all you can do is judge a person by their appearance because you don’t have the spirit to judge someone from within, you’re in trouble.
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Poor is a state of mind you never grow out of, but being broke is just a temporary condition.
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If democracy is such a good thing, let’s have more of it.
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When you’ve got something really good, you don’t have to force it on people. They will steal it!
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One of the things I keep learning is that the secret of being happy is doing things for other people.
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Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don’t have the ability to be lovable.
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Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: ‘We don’t serve colored people here.’ I said: ‘that’s all right, I don’t eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.
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I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.
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I wouldn’t mind paying taxes – if I knew they were going to a friendly country.
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Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.
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Just being a Negro doesn’t qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
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I tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
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No kid in the world, no woman in the world should ever raise a hand against a no-good daddy. That’s already been taken care of: A Man Who Destroys His Own Home Shall Inherit the Wind.
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Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother’s milk.
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There’s a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
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The only good thing about the good old days is they’re gone.
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Everything we do we should look at in terms of millions of people who can’t afford it.
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I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
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When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening – there wasn’t no 24-hour news.
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I never thought I’d see the day that I would see white folks as frightened, or more so than black folks was during the civil rights movement when we were in Mississippi.
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To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
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You know, I always say white is not a color, white is an attitude, and if you haven’t got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don’t need, you can’t be white.
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It’s cool to be healthy.
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My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that’s never been explained.
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I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn’t have what I wanted.
DICK GREGORY