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Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.

Dick Gregory

You hear entertainers all the time, saying, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for this, I’d do it for free.’ When’s the last time you ever heard a business person say, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I’d do it for free?’
DICK GREGORY

Career Difference Freedom Time Yourself
Once I realized the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
DICK GREGORY

Goodness Laugh Myself People Value
Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.
DICK GREGORY

Education Knowledge Wisdom
If democracy is such a good thing, let’s have more of it.
DICK GREGORY

Democracy Goodness
And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.
DICK GREGORY

Dance Love War
Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.
DICK GREGORY

Fight Job Yourself
In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don’t know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.
DICK GREGORY

Deep Evil Ourselves See Sun Yourself
Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.
DICK GREGORY

Angry Hell
Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
DICK GREGORY

Beginning Forget Politics Promise Relationship
You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We’re the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
DICK GREGORY

Oneself Secret Yourself
We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry because we didn’t think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
DICK GREGORY

Book Greatness History Thinking Victory Win
There’s a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
DICK GREGORY

Force God Live Willing Yourself
If all you can do is judge a person by their appearance because you don’t have the spirit to judge someone from within, you’re in trouble.
DICK GREGORY

Appearance Deep Judgement Person Spirit Yourself
I personally believe breathatarianism to be the highest mode of human living breathing in pure air, absorbing the direct light and energies of the sun, bathing in pure water I look at the obituaries every morning and ain’t nobody listed but you eaters.
DICK GREGORY

Believe Breathe Human Light Live Morning Myself Sun
To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
DICK GREGORY

Music Myself Poet
When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
DICK GREGORY

Funny Lost Money Myself Weapon
When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It’s not enough, but it helps.
DICK GREGORY

Enough Father Goodness Help Mom Yourself
People with high blood pressure, diabetes – those are conditions brought about by lifestyle. If you change the lifestyle, those conditions will leave.
DICK GREGORY

Change Health Life People
My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that’s never been explained.
DICK GREGORY

Believe Explanation Myself Philosophy
If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.
DICK GREGORY

Alcohol Control Yourself
My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn’t a Christian, she would stomp you to death.
DICK GREGORY

Death Live Mom Myself Yourself
I tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
DICK GREGORY

Home Myself People
Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother’s milk.
DICK GREGORY

Food Mom
I never thought I’d see the day that I would see white folks as frightened, or more so than black folks was during the civil rights movement when we were in Mississippi.
DICK GREGORY

Black Myself People Right Scare See
If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.
DICK GREGORY

Myself Poor
I wouldn’t mind paying taxes – if I knew they were going to a friendly country.
DICK GREGORY

Country Friendship Mindset Myself Pay
The most difficult thing to get people to do is to accept the obvious.
DICK GREGORY

Acceptance Difficult People Truth

Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.

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Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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