We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn’t it either. I’m going to be an American Citizen. First-class.
DICK GREGORYPolitical promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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They told me there was very little racial prejudice in Hawaii. Like a woman is just a little bit pregnant.
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America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don’t misuse a household pet.
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Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.
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We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry because we didn’t think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
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When I was a boy, I was taught never to use insulting expressions like, ‘I’ve been gypped,’ or, ‘He welshed on the deal.’
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Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
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There’s a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
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It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn’t stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.
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Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.
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To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
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When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete’s feet don’t exist, there’s something wrong.
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Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
DICK GREGORY -
If all you can do is judge a person by their appearance because you don’t have the spirit to judge someone from within, you’re in trouble.
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I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn’t have what I wanted.
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You know, I always say white is not a color, white is an attitude, and if you haven’t got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don’t need, you can’t be white.
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People with high blood pressure, diabetes – those are conditions brought about by lifestyle. If you change the lifestyle, those conditions will leave.
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I never thought I’d see the day that I would see white folks as frightened, or more so than black folks was during the civil rights movement when we were in Mississippi.
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I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
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Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.
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I personally would say that the quickest way to wipe out a group of people is to put them on a soul food diet.
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When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
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If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.
DICK GREGORY -
Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother’s milk.
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You hear entertainers all the time, saying, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for this, I’d do it for free.’ When’s the last time you ever heard a business person say, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I’d do it for free?’
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My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn’t a Christian, she would stomp you to death.
DICK GREGORY -
Even though he understood the depths of racism and black oppression, Ali lived his life as a free man—a free loving and lovable man.
DICK GREGORY