The most difficult thing to get people to do is to accept the obvious.
DICK GREGORYI’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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Just being a Negro doesn’t qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
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We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry because we didn’t think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
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People with high blood pressure, diabetes – those are conditions brought about by lifestyle. If you change the lifestyle, those conditions will leave.
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When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete’s feet don’t exist, there’s something wrong.
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If all you can do is judge a person by their appearance because you don’t have the spirit to judge someone from within, you’re in trouble.
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Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.
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I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
DICK GREGORY -
Revolution ain’t nothing but an extent of evolution; Evolution is a fact of nature.
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I personally believe breathatarianism to be the highest mode of human living breathing in pure air, absorbing the direct light and energies of the sun, bathing in pure water I look at the obituaries every morning and ain’t nobody listed but you eaters.
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Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
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I personally would say that the quickest way to wipe out a group of people is to put them on a soul food diet.
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You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We’re the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
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If democracy is such a good thing, let’s have more of it.
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Everything we do we should look at in terms of millions of people who can’t afford it.
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You know, I always say white is not a color, white is an attitude, and if you haven’t got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don’t need, you can’t be white.
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America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don’t misuse a household pet.
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Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.
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Once I realized the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
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There is a limit on how much information you can keep bottled up.
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It’s cool to be healthy.
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I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn’t have what I wanted.
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Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother’s milk.
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I believe young voters will either vote for Obama or not vote at all. So the problem is not Obama the problem is the system. If you think about how mess up this country is, most folk really don’t have choices.
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My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that’s never been explained.
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Did you know that in New Orleans they still have brown bag parties? What’s that, you ask? You and I go to a party, and when we get to the door, there’s a brown bag hanging down from the ceiling, and if our skin is darker than the brown bag, we can’t go in.
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Poor is a state of mind you never grow out of, but being broke is just a temporary condition.
DICK GREGORY