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I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.

Dick Gregory

Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.
DICK GREGORY

Attachment Deep Loss Rich
Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.
DICK GREGORY

Angry Hell
You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We’re the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
DICK GREGORY

Oneself Secret Yourself
The only good thing about the good old days is they’re gone.
DICK GREGORY

Goodness Past
One of the things I keep learning is that the secret of being happy is doing things for other people.
DICK GREGORY

Happiness Learning Oneself People Secret
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
DICK GREGORY

Believe Darkness Myself
When you’ve got something really good, you don’t have to force it on people. They will steal it!
DICK GREGORY

Force Goodness People Yourself
Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
DICK GREGORY

Beginning Forget Politics Promise Relationship
When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
DICK GREGORY

Funny Lost Money Myself Weapon
I tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
DICK GREGORY

Home Myself People
People with high blood pressure, diabetes – those are conditions brought about by lifestyle. If you change the lifestyle, those conditions will leave.
DICK GREGORY

Change Health Life People
The most difficult thing to get people to do is to accept the obvious.
DICK GREGORY

Acceptance Difficult People Truth
America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don’t misuse a household pet.
DICK GREGORY

Animal Human Life Tolerance
Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.
DICK GREGORY

Fight Job Yourself
Home was a place to be only when all other places were closed.
DICK GREGORY

Home Place
Revolution ain’t nothing but an extent of evolution; Evolution is a fact of nature.
DICK GREGORY

Nature Revolution

I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.

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I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.

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Popular Authors

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