If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
MARK TWAINNever put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
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I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
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Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
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Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.
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A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
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Obscurity and a competence – that is the life that is best worth living.
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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.
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Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
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Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.
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Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
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If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
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A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.
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It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
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The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
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Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
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Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.
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A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
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I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
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Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
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Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
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Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
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To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
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Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
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Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
MARK TWAIN