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Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.

Will Rogers

An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
WILL ROGERS

Cry Laugh Onion People Vegetable
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
WILL ROGERS

Fly People Rage
The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.
WILL ROGERS

Man Mistake never Tired
You must judge a man’s greatness by how much he will be missed.
WILL ROGERS

Greatness Judgment Man Missing
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?
WILL ROGERS

Mess Stupidity Trouble
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
WILL ROGERS

Finding Life Rush Save Time
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you.
WILL ROGERS

Experience Happen Hard Time Inspirational
Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.
WILL ROGERS

Art Diplomacy Finding Rock
Work to make a living; serve to make a life.
WILL ROGERS

Life Live Serve Work
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
WILL ROGERS

Account Democracy Government Nation People
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
WILL ROGERS

Business Experience Inspirational Judgment
There are men running governments who shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches.
WILL ROGERS

Government Match Men Play
It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.
WILL ROGERS

Philosophy Trouble
We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
WILL ROGERS

Civilization Learning Recognize Rights True
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
WILL ROGERS

Death Grandfather Peace Scream Sleep
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
WILL ROGERS

Crime Lawyer One Liner Pay

Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.

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Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.

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