“The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.”

There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.

Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.

If we could only find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.

People always tell me “Have a nice day.” Well what if I don’t want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?

A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.

Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

It’s never just a game when you’re winning.

The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.

Always do whatever’s next.

If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.

Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

This is kind of weird, but I eat lemons with salt as snack. They’re so good!

Sometimes you have to learn to love what’s good for you.

I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.

People can like him or not like him individually. But I need for them to know that he was a person of substance, and he was worthy, and he was a good son and a good brother and a good participant in the community.

I trust work, directors – I don’t live in fear. All good experiences have come from trusting the universe. There is no other way to live or love. Otherwise, you create your own prison.

If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.

I was a tiger, a good fighter, in good shape, but I was always nervous before boxing matches.

My mother and Ethel Kennedy became good friends and worked together on a number of causes they had shared with their husbands. They together co-chaired ‘A Time to Remember’ to mobilize a movement for gun control.