If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.

ANDY ROONEY

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If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.

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Drink Goodness Happiness Live Quite

Bagwalas

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

ANDY ROONEY

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
ANDY ROONEY

Happiness Smile
We’re all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.

ANDY ROONEY

We’re all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.
ANDY ROONEY

Desire Fear Lonely Privacy
If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.

ANDY ROONEY

If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
ANDY ROONEY

Date Deserve Internet Meet Murder
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.

ANDY ROONEY

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.
ANDY ROONEY

Care Thinking Woman
I’ve learned, That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

ANDY ROONEY

I’ve learned, That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
ANDY ROONEY

Learning Time Work
I’ve learned, That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

ANDY ROONEY

I’ve learned, That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
ANDY ROONEY

Adult Block Children Father Simple Summer Walk Wonder
Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.

ANDY ROONEY

Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
ANDY ROONEY

Advice Cook Meat
I’ve learned, That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.

ANDY ROONEY

I’ve learned, That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.
ANDY ROONEY

Help Learning Prayer Strength Way
I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

ANDY ROONEY

I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
ANDY ROONEY

Heart Learning Person Time Understand
The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.

ANDY ROONEY

The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
ANDY ROONEY

Greatness Mindset Virtue Way
I’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

ANDY ROONEY

I’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
ANDY ROONEY

Friendship Learning Life Requirement
Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn’t have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.

ANDY ROONEY

Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn’t have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
ANDY ROONEY

Goodness Ideas Prison Religious
When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.

ANDY ROONEY

When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
ANDY ROONEY

Basic Education Life Need
Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others

ANDY ROONEY

Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
ANDY ROONEY

Age Experience Level
Familiar things are a comfort to us all.

ANDY ROONEY

Familiar things are a comfort to us all.
ANDY ROONEY

Calm Comfortable Peace
Conservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.

ANDY ROONEY

Conservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.
ANDY ROONEY

Conservatism Liberal Nice People Religious

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