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It’s paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.

Andy Rooney

Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know where the time goes.” It goes the same place it’s always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
ANDY ROONEY

Place Time Unknown
The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
ANDY ROONEY

Expensive Goodness Rule Small Yourself
Familiar things are a comfort to us all.
ANDY ROONEY

Calm Comfortable Peace
I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that’s why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
ANDY ROONEY

Business Computer Myself Writing
Don’t you hate it when, your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
ANDY ROONEY

Hate Last Luggage Oneself Yourself
I’ve learned, That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
ANDY ROONEY

Growth Learning Myself Person Smart
Unfortunately, propaganda works.
ANDY ROONEY

One Liner Work
A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don’t know what they are talking about.
ANDY ROONEY

Greatness Opinion People Permission Right Talk
I’ve learned, That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
ANDY ROONEY

Adult Block Children Father Simple Summer Walk Wonder
Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
ANDY ROONEY

Hunter Old Word
No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
ANDY ROONEY

Bad Book Guy Oneself Writing
I’ve learned, That love, not time, heals all wounds.
ANDY ROONEY

Healing Love Myself Time Wound
I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY

Eat Learning Myself Word
I’ve learned, That when you’re in love, it shows.
ANDY ROONEY

Learning Love Show Yourself
Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
ANDY ROONEY

Animal Forget Grandparents
I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people’s idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
ANDY ROONEY

Country Hate Loud Patriot People
I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
ANDY ROONEY

End Fast Learning Myself Paper
I’ve learned, That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
ANDY ROONEY

Appreciation Learning Life Myself Small
I’ve learned That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
ANDY ROONEY

Learning Lost Missing Opportunity Position Yourself
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY

Eat Soft Sweet Word Yourself
I don’t like food that’s too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I’d buy a painting.
ANDY ROONEY

Arrangement Care Food Myself Paint Photograph Time
Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.
ANDY ROONEY

Chance Goodness People World Yourself
Being kind is more important than being right.
ANDY ROONEY

Important Kind Right
Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
ANDY ROONEY

Fold Food Restaurant Time Trust
The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
ANDY ROONEY

Greatness Mindset Virtue Way
The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
ANDY ROONEY

Big Bookstore Diet Eat Yourself
I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
ANDY ROONEY

Learning Life Myself Tough

It’s paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.

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It’s paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.

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Popular Authors

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