I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people’s idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
ANDY ROONEY -
My most serious character flaw is that I don’t deny myself much.
ANDY ROONEY -
Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
ANDY ROONEY -
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
ANDY ROONEY -
Small daily happenings make life spectacular. Start enjoying the small things in life!
ANDY ROONEY -
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
ANDY ROONEY -
Most of us aren’t that interested in getting rich- we just don’t want to get poor.
ANDY ROONEY -
Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.
ANDY ROONEY -
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
ANDY ROONEY -
Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
ANDY ROONEY -
If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
ANDY ROONEY -
The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
ANDY ROONEY -
Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That money doesn’t buy class.
ANDY ROONEY -
If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
ANDY ROONEY -
A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don’t know what they are talking about.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you more.
ANDY ROONEY -
A cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.
ANDY ROONEY -
Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.
ANDY ROONEY -
The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
ANDY ROONEY -
No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
ANDY ROONEY -
The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY