“I’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.”

Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.

I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

I’ve learned, That when you’re in love, it shows.

In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.

I’ve learned… that just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.

Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.

Small daily happenings make life spectacular. Start enjoying the small things in life!

It’s paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.

You can’t be a good writer without being a good thinker.

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.

A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don’t know what they are talking about.

Don’t keep saying, “I don’t know where the time goes.” It goes the same place it’s always gone and no one has ever known where that is.

Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.

It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.

Don’t you hate it when, your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?