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No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.

Andy Rooney

One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.
ANDY ROONEY

Friendship Letter Life Oneself Sweet
Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
ANDY ROONEY

Animal Forget Grandparents
Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
ANDY ROONEY

Happiness Life Strike Yourself
Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
ANDY ROONEY

Goodness Kill Old Oneself People Return Time World
Unfortunately, propaganda works.
ANDY ROONEY

One Liner Work
Death is a distant rumor to the young.
ANDY ROONEY

Death Distant One Liner Young
I’ve learned that under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
ANDY ROONEY

Appreciation Hard Learning Love
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
ANDY ROONEY

Age Fresh Myself Wait
All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
ANDY ROONEY

Admit Economist Talk
Once you pass forty, a dime isn’t worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
ANDY ROONEY

Drop Oneself Worth
I’ve learned that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
ANDY ROONEY

Deserve Learning Myself Smile
I’ve learned… that just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.
ANDY ROONEY

Day Learning Myself Person
I’ve learned, That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.
ANDY ROONEY

Born Fingers Hold Life Yourself
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
ANDY ROONEY

Computer Easy Need Work
In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
ANDY ROONEY

Book Difficult Live Surround
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
ANDY ROONEY

Average Dog Nice Person
Don’t rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
ANDY ROONEY

Hands Head Rule World Yourself
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.
ANDY ROONEY

Avoid Book Cook Learning
I’ve learned That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
ANDY ROONEY

Asleep Children Fall Feeling Learning Myself Peace World
If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
ANDY ROONEY

Date Deserve Internet Meet Murder Yourself
I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.
ANDY ROONEY

Luck Old Purpose Yourself
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
ANDY ROONEY

Acceptance Believe Fact General People Truth
Being kind is more important than being right.
ANDY ROONEY

Important Kind Right
Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
ANDY ROONEY

Buy Food Realization Woman Worth
I’ve learned That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
ANDY ROONEY

Learning Lost Missing Opportunity Position Yourself
All of us talk faster than we listen.
ANDY ROONEY

Fast Listening Ourselves Talk
If I’d known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can’t remember a single project I would have started.
ANDY ROONEY

Finish Myself Problem Remember

No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.

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No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.

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