I’d like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned, That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
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It isn’t working that’s so hard, it’s getting ready to work.
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Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
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I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
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It’s paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.
ANDY ROONEY -
Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
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Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
ANDY ROONEY -
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
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Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn’t have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
ANDY ROONEY -
The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
ANDY ROONEY -
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
ANDY ROONEY -
A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don’t know what they are talking about.
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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.
ANDY ROONEY -
The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
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We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.
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I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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I don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?
ANDY ROONEY -
My most serious character flaw is that I don’t deny myself much.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That when you’re in love, it shows.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
ANDY ROONEY -
Death is a distant rumor to the young.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
ANDY ROONEY -
If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
ANDY ROONEY -
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
ANDY ROONEY