Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
-
-
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
ANDY ROONEY -
I don’t like food that’s too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I’d buy a painting.
ANDY ROONEY -
A cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
ANDY ROONEY -
If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned… that just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.
ANDY ROONEY -
Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn’t have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
ANDY ROONEY -
A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don’t know what they are talking about.
ANDY ROONEY -
Those of us who don’t have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading “Confused.
ANDY ROONEY -
If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you more.
ANDY ROONEY -
In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
ANDY ROONEY -
Unfortunately, propaganda works.
ANDY ROONEY -
Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.
ANDY ROONEY -
I don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?
ANDY ROONEY -
Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.
ANDY ROONEY -
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
ANDY ROONEY -
I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.
ANDY ROONEY -
Death is a distant rumor to the young.
ANDY ROONEY -
Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
ANDY ROONEY -
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.
ANDY ROONEY -
Conservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.
ANDY ROONEY -
The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
ANDY ROONEY