If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
ANDY ROONEYThose of us who don’t have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading “Confused.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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I’ve learned, That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
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I’ve learned That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
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I’ve learned, That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
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A cat’s idea of a ‘good time’ is to kill something.
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No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
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Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion – as long as it agrees with ours.
ANDY ROONEY -
The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
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I’d be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn’t believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don’t think it does.
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You can’t be a good writer without being a good thinker.
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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
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Don’t you hate it when, your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
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I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
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All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
ANDY ROONEY -
Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.
ANDY ROONEY -
Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.
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I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.
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I’ve learned that under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
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I’ve learned, That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
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I’ve learned that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
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Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
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When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
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I’ve learned, That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
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Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
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I’ve learned, That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
ANDY ROONEY -
My most serious character flaw is that I don’t deny myself much.
ANDY ROONEY