The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. GROUCHO MARX BookFoolsTroubleWriting
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one. GROUCHO MARX ChildrenLoveMother
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. GROUCHO MARX ControlFateFortuneLifeManWomen
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. GROUCHO MARX ApplesauceCranberryTaste
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. GROUCHO MARX FunnyHospitalHumourParkedRunTaxi
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it. GROUCHO MARX BeatConfidenceGoodnessHeadMindRevengeWar
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? GROUCHO MARX FunnyHumourInstituationMarriage
