It’s true Fang and I fight, but we’ve never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
PHYLLIS DILLERIt’s true Fang and I fight, but we’ve never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
More Phyllis Diller Quotes
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My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle
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The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
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self-pity is better than none.
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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
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I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
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Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
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Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.
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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
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I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along – but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
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Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
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I asked the waiter, ‘Is this milk fresh?’ He said, ‘Lady, three hours ago it was grass.’
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All mothers are working mothers.
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The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
PHYLLIS DILLER