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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

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Bed Fight Go never Stay Up

Bagwalas

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

You’ve got to realize that when all goes well, and everything is beautiful, you have no comedy. It’s when somebody steps on the bride’s train, or belches during the ceremony that you’ve got comedy!
PHYLLIS DILLER

Beautiful Bribe Comedy Everything Goes Got Realize Somebody Step Train
All mothers are working mothers.
PHYLLIS DILLER

All Mother Working
… if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don’t let them put the year.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Children Dust Furniture Love Name Write Yera
I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Beauty Day Fourteen Give never Plan Ten Up Year
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Curve Set Smile Straight
We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Children Down First Month Shut Spend Talk Teah Tell Twelve Walk
If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Enough Laugh Wrinkle
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Accidental Day Enjoy Ever Gin Iron Only Steam Time
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Age Glove Love Old Sport Through
I was the world’s ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Baby Born Doctor Everybody Slap Ugly World
The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Common Day Husband Married Only Same Thing
My own laugh is the real thing and I’ve had it all my life.
PHYLLIS DILLER

All Life Own Real Thing
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Best Eat Getmrid Kitchen Odor Out Way
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle – keep away from children.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Advice Away Bottle Children Follow Keep Transquilzer Work
Oh, that dog! Ever hear of a German Shepherd that bites its nails? Barks with a lisp? You say, “Attack!” And he has one. All he does is piddle. He’s nothing but a fur-covered kidney that barks.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Attack Country Dog Even Hear Ible Lisp Mail One People Person Piddle
You know you’re old when your walker has an airbag.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Airbag Now Old Walkertr
Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
PHYLLIS DILLER

Chance Housework Kill Rake You
When I go to the beach, even the tide won’t come in.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Beach Come Even Go Tide
I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along – but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Along Always Easy Only Same Tell Understand
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Any Argument Bank Been Cab Country Just Robbed Three Time
I’m eighteen years behind in my ironing. There’s no use doing it now, it doesn’t fit anybody I know.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Anybody Behind Doing Eighteen Iron Know Now Use Year
If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Beaten Before Him Husband Lick Mixer Want
When you play spin the bottle, if they don’t want to kiss you they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old I owned my own home.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Bottle Kiss Play Quater Spin Want
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Avoid Beget Children Desire Entirely Mean Poverty Single Something Violence
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Away Children Home Keep Only Parent Some Thing Threaten
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Finish Half Hour Last Minute
Next to gold and jewelry, health is the most important thing you can have.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Gold Have Health Important Jewelry Next Things

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