“I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn’t show the dirt.”

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.

I never made `Who’s Who,’ but I’m featured in `What’s That?’

A passport picture is a photo of a man that he can laugh at without realizing that it looks exactly the way his friends see him.

We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, ‘Who could have done this? We have no enemies!’

To get a roaster clean, send something like baked apples in it to a neighbor. Neighbors always return pans spotless, and you won’t have to use a blow torch on it like you usually do.

Health – what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

I’m looking for a perfume to overpower men – I’m sick of karate.

Remarrying a husband you’ve divorced is like having your appendix put back in.

I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.

Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

It’s true Fang and I fight, but we’ve never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

I asked the waiter, ‘Is this milk fresh?’ He said, ‘Lady, three hours ago it was grass.’

Fruit of all the kinds that the country produced were laid before him; he ate very little, but from time to time a liquor prepared from cocoa, and of an aphrodisiac nature.

I owe it all to art books, chocolate and young men.

I ran through the manuscript in the space of a day, much as one might pick compulsively at a box of chocolates. It was simply too provocative to put down. Has the potential of being highly influential inside the field and among an informed public.

I love dark chocolate – I could eat it ’til I puke.

Reading a good book in silence is like eating chocolate for the rest of your life and never getting fat.

Moderation, honey, in all things but love and chocolate. That’s my motto.

Humor is the chocolate chips in the ice cream of life.

I don’t really need a personal trainer or watch what I eat. I can’t start the day without a hot chocolate or finish it without a few squares of dark chocolate. It’s good for my mood!