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Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

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Age Glove Love Old Sport Through

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Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
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Away Children Home Keep Only Parent Some Thing Threaten
My own laugh is the real thing and I’ve had it all my life.
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Doctors say it’s okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door.
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Aim high, and you won’t shoot your foot off.
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I never made `Who’s Who,’ but I’m featured in `What’s That?’
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You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
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I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.
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Beauty Came Constant Country Hit Last Mouth Once People Person
I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.
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The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
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Football never Olay Outfit Public Reason Same Wear Women
The constants all through the centuries will be the same; wine, women and song. Other than that, life will be very different technologically. In the year 3000 the universe will be expanding as it will forever, infinitely. We will probe outer space but never find life as evolutionized as ours
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Constant Difference Other Same Song Technology Thought Wine Year
It’s true Fang and I fight, but we’ve never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
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Bed Course Fang Gone Mad Month Three True Was Year
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
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Avoid Beget Children Desire Entirely Mean Poverty Single Something Violence
Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
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If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
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I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn’t show the dirt.
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Chocolate Dirt Like Serve Show

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