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I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along – but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.

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I was the world’s ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads… I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said ‘Grab the blade!
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Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
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My husband always felt that a marriage and career don’t mix. That’s why he’s never worked.
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You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!
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In most states you can get a driver’s license when you’re sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
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Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
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Doctors say it’s okay to have sex after a heart attack, provided you close the ambulance door.
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We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
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There’s such a buildup of crud in my oven, there’s only room to bake a single cupcake.
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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
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I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
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