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All mothers are working mothers.

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All Mother Working

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don’t mix. That’s why he’s never worked.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Also Career Felt Husband Marriage Mix Work
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Best Eat Getmrid Kitchen Odor Out Way
Comedy is tragedy revisited.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Comedy Revisited Tragedy
I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Ask Country Football Good Hairdresser Helmet Look People Person Say
My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Brisk Excercise Good Idea Sit
I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Beauty Came Constant Country Hit Last Mouth Once People Person
The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Best Contraceptive Nudity People
Remarrying a husband you’ve divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Appendix Back Divorce Husband Like Put Remarry
Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Begin Else Everything Fal Maybe Out Spread Start True Wear
Nothing was happening in the bedroom. I nicknamed our waterbed the Dead Sea.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Bedroom Dead Nickname Nothing Happen Sea Waterbed
I’m the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night… and reduce the crime rate.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Central Crime Night Only Park Reduce Trade Walk Woman
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Beneath Breast Knee Law Left Mother Out Pain Trick Tuned
I like to serve chocolate cake, because it doesn’t show the dirt.
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Chocolate Dirt Like Serve Show
If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Enough Laugh Wrinkle
You know you’re old if they have discontinued your blood type.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Blood Discontinue Know Type
I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Blouse Once Peekaboo People Peek Too Wore

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