“I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.”

Comedy is tragedy revisited.

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle – keep away from children.

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.

You know you’re old if they have discontinued your blood type.

The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

My own laugh is the real thing and I’ve had it all my life.

Remember there is no way you can give the father custody of the children without getting a divorce.

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop… and that was for the estimate.

I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.

I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along – but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.

self-pity is better than none.

My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle

Success is buried on the other side of frustration; unfortunately some people don’t do what it takes to get to the other side.

Precious gems are profoundly buried in the earth and can only be extracted at the expense of great labor.

Abu Dharr once described the people of the world, says, They breed what will they ultimately bury, they build what will eventually be destroy.

I was of the opinion that the past is past, and like all that is not now it should remain buried along the side of our memories.

There were things I wanted to tell him. But I knew they would hurt him. So I buried them, and let them hurt me.

Why are you leaving me? He wrote, I do not know how to live. I do not know either but I am trying. I do not know how to try. There were some things I wanted to tell him. But I knew they would hurt him. So i buried them and let them hurt me

A seed has to get buried in the soil for its real form as a plant to emerge. Only through modesty and humility can we grow. Pride and conceit will only destroy us. Live with the firm attitude, ‘I am everyone’s servant.’ Then the whole universe will bow down to us.

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.