Phyllis Diller on best
Phyllis Diller99 quotes“The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.”
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To get a roaster clean, send something like baked apples in it to a neighbor. Neighbors always return pans spotless, and you won’t have to use a blow torch on it like you usually do.
Phyllis DillerPhyllis Diller Health – what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
Phyllis DillerPhyllis Diller I’m looking for a perfume to overpower men – I’m sick of karate.
Phyllis DillerPhyllis Diller Remarrying a husband you’ve divorced is like having your appendix put back in.
Phyllis DillerPhyllis Diller I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
Phyllis DillerPhyllis Diller If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.
Phyllis DillerPhyllis Diller Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
Phyllis DillerPhyllis Diller I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Phyllis DillerPhyllis Diller It’s true Fang and I fight, but we’ve never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
Phyllis DillerPhyllis Diller Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis DillerPhyllis Diller I asked the waiter, ‘Is this milk fresh?’ He said, ‘Lady, three hours ago it was grass.’
Phyllis DillerPhyllis Diller You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.
Phyllis DillerPhyllis Diller What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis DillerPhyllis Diller Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
Phyllis DillerPhyllis Diller I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.
Phyllis DillerPhyllis Diller My husband always felt that a marriage and career don’t mix. That’s why he’s never worked.
Phyllis DillerPhyllis Diller
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From our community writers
Find someone who can hear you even when you’re silent.
Brad NeatonBrad Neaton Shadows follow me the way a vulture stalks death. One small step ahead.
Danielle MontgomeryDanielle Montgomery Hidden in the ashes, of a fallen building lays a child’s family photo, with whom he could never unite in life.
Heba NazarHeba Nazar To love something, someone. You don’t need to own them.
Sonika MSonika M When you miss someone, you realize their worth and your faith.
Aradhna S BirenAradhna S Biren The bed was the canvas, we were the art.
Jonny OxJonny Ox Every little part of your soul was made to shine.
Ashley PrzywolskiAshley Przywolski When in truth, it is the transparency that kills you. The pain of seeing through to something you can never quite touch.
Lang LeavLang Leav
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More on best
Maybe the lesson is not how best to chase the things we think will make us happy, but learning to be happy wherever we are instead.
Taj AroraTaj Arora I’m just kind of taking what I get and making the best out of it, honestly.
Bhad BhabieBhad Bhabie I want to be the best fighter. I would like to fight in the biggest fights.
Manny PacquiaoManny Pacquiao I was just doing my job in the ring and doing my best to make people happy.
Manny PacquiaoManny Pacquiao I was given a talent to play cricket. I don’t know why I was given it. But I was. I owe it to all those who wish it had been them to give of my best, every day.
Rahul DravidRahul Dravid The best trip I ever took was the one outside of my comfort zone.
Sonya MatejkoSonya Matejko The best part about being in the ‘showbiz’ industry is that you can voice your opinion.
Urvashi RautelaUrvashi Rautela Letting go is not only okay it’s best.
Courtney HillCourtney Hill
