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A terrible thing happened to me last night again—nothing.

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Again Happen Last Night Nothing Terrible Thing

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
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By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.
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They just elected me Mis Phonograph Record of 1966. They discovered my measurements were 33 1/2, 45, 78!
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I will never give up. I am in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan.
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Health – what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
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I spent seven hours in a beauty shop… and that was for the estimate.
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I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along – but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
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What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
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If my jeans could talk, they’d plead for mercy.
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Life is a do-it-yourself kit, so do it yourself. Work. Practice.
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I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
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Comedy is tragedy revisited.
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If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, ‘Who could have done this? We have no enemies!’
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I never made `Who’s Who,’ but I’m featured in `What’s That?’
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If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him.
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I’m looking for a perfume to overpower men – I’m sick of karate.
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I don’t know how you feel about old age… but in my case I didn’t even see it coming. It hit me from the rear.
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In most states you can get a driver’s license when you’re sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
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The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.
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I was the world’s ugliest baby. I have photos of my folks leaving the hospital with sacks over their heads… I asked my mother how to turn off the electric fan. She said ‘Grab the blade!
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Ask Baby Folk Head Hospital Leave Mother Over Photo Sack Ugliest
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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I’ve tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t’ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.
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You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.
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When I go to the beach, even the tide won’t come in.
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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
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A terrible thing happened to me last night again—nothing.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Again Happen Last Night Nothing Terrible Thing

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