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You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!

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Humble Keep Know Mirror

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don’t mix. That’s why he’s never worked.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Also Career Felt Husband Marriage Mix Work
Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
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Begin Else Everything Fal Maybe Out Spread Start True Wear
Comedy is tragedy revisited.
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Comedy Revisited Tragedy
What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
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Christmas Day Job Look Next Office Party
The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.
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Bad Earn Ever Kid Last Lose Money Old Teeth Thing
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
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Ask Country Once Out People Player Room
Aim high, and you won’t shoot your foot off.
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Aim Fool High Off Shoot
I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.
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Blouse Once Peekaboo People Peek Too Wore
There’s such a buildup of crud in my oven, there’s only room to bake a single cupcake.
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Bake Buildup Crud Cupcake Open Roo Single Such
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
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Any Argument Bank Been Cab Country Just Robbed Three Time
I’m looking for a perfume to overpower men – I’m sick of karate.
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Karate Look Overpower Perfume Sick
My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.
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Cheap Christmas Committed Eve Fre Husband Kids Santa Shot Suicide Tell
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
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Age Glove Love Old Sport Through
The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.
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Best Contraceptive Nudity People
The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing at you.
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Down Head Kwwp Laugh Pro Real Reson See Tell
Next to gold and jewelry, health is the most important thing you can have.
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Gold Have Health Important Jewelry Next Things
I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet.
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Ask Country Football Good Hairdresser Helmet Look People Person Say
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
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Finish Half Hour Last Minute
By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.
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Common Crave Far Mist Pregnant Prepare Women
I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along – but it was easy. He was the only one that came along.
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Along Always Easy Only Same Tell Understand
My own laugh is the real thing and I’ve had it all my life.
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All Life Own Real Thing
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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Age Beaty Eyesight Fade Like Look Marry May Own
… if they [your children] write their names in the dust on the furniture, don’t let them put the year.
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Children Dust Furniture Love Name Write Yera
It’s true Fang and I fight, but we’ve never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.
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Bed Course Fang Gone Mad Month Three True Was Year
I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
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Age Back Do Go More Than
You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.
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Aligator Barefoot Compliment Know Shoe Someone
The constants all through the centuries will be the same; wine, women and song. Other than that, life will be very different technologically. In the year 3000 the universe will be expanding as it will forever, infinitely. We will probe outer space but never find life as evolutionized as ours
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Constant Difference Other Same Song Technology Thought Wine Year

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