A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
MARK TWAINBooks are for people who wish they were somewhere else.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
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Be good and you will be lonesome.
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It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt.
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Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
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Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
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You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
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In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
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All right, then, I’ll go to hell.
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Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
MARK TWAIN







