Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.
MARK TWAINEat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
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Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
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If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
MARK TWAIN -
What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
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Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
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I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
MARK TWAIN -
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.
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Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
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Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.
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It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt.
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In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.
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I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
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Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
MARK TWAIN -
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
MARK TWAIN -
The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.
MARK TWAIN -
Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
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All right, then, I’ll go to hell.
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If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
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The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
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Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
MARK TWAIN -
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
MARK TWAIN