“There’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.”

You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them.

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.

The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

Don’t always look for the wild in the forests. But when you find the one, explore with abandon.

I see peace when I look into your eyes and that, my love, is rare to find.

I love to live in the past because it is the only place where I find you.

Finding love and friendship in one person is a real pleasure.

It is in collectivities that we find reservoirs of hope and optimism.

Everywhere I go I find a poet has been there before me.

I would rather live my life as if there is a god and die to find out there isn’t, than live my life as if there isn’t and die to find out there is.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.