If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be – a Christian.
MARK TWAINAlways acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
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The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.
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Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.
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Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
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Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.
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I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
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Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
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History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.
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Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
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I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
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Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
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Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
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Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
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Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
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Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
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The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
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Be good and you will be lonesome.
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My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.
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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
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The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
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In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
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In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
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April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
MARK TWAIN