black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.

Mark Twain

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
MARK TWAIN

Eat Frog Funny Humour Morning
Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
MARK TWAIN

Life Live Owe World
There’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.
MARK TWAIN

Finding Honesty Man
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
MARK TWAIN

Honesty Lying Shoes Travel Truth World
April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
MARK TWAIN

Fun Funny Human Nature Humour Kiding
I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
MARK TWAIN

Finding Hate Humour People Travel
I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
MARK TWAIN

Humour Letter Time Writing
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.
MARK TWAIN

Adsence Courage Fear Master Resistance
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
MARK TWAIN

Confidence Ignorance Life Patience Success Victory
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
MARK TWAIN

Accident Funny Humour Invention One Liner
If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
MARK TWAIN

Information Media Newspaper
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
MARK TWAIN

Education God Humour Idiot Practice School
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
MARK TWAIN

Born Dead Death Fear Inconvenience Inspirational Suffering
There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.
MARK TWAIN

Comedy Drama Impossible Interesting Life Tragedy
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
MARK TWAIN

FAction Healing Humour Treat
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
MARK TWAIN

Forgiveness Gragnance Heel Peace Wisdom
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
MARK TWAIN

Brace Character Courage Curious Moral Physical World
What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
MARK TWAIN

Create Disappointment Father Heaven Humour Man Monkey
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
MARK TWAIN

Dog Favor Heaven Merit Stay
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
MARK TWAIN

Disappear Explanation Humour Life Mad Mystery Remember Stand
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
MARK TWAIN

Death Die Fear Inspirational Life Live Man Prepare Time Travel
Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.
MARK TWAIN

Debt One Liner Owe Pay Worry
I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!
MARK TWAIN

Decision Humour Mind
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
MARK TWAIN

Brain Fish Heart Love Romance
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
MARK TWAIN

Change Politics Reason
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
MARK TWAIN

Brave Courage Dog Flight Inspirational
In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
MARK TWAIN

Beginning Change Hate Man Patriotism Success

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Mark Twain Quotes