Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
MARK TWAINWrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
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Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
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Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
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Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
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What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
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I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
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Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.
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I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
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The secret to getting ahead is getting started.
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If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
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Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.
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A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
MARK TWAIN