There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
MARK TWAINThe best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
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There’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.
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Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
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Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
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A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
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Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
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The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
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You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
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The secret to getting ahead is getting started.
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All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
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I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them.
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I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
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Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
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Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.
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The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.
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Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
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Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
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Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
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If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
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Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
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The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
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The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
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I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
MARK TWAIN