“The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.”

To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.

In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.

The secret to getting ahead is getting started.

History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.

If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.

The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Be good and you will be lonesome.

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

A dog used to run up quietly to the heels of everyone he met, and to bite them without notice.

Four legs good, two legs bad.

A lot of shelter dogs are mutts like me.

A lot of shelter dogs are mutts like me.

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.

Joyful, joyful, joyful, as only dogs know how to be happy with only the autonomy of their shameless spirit.

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

I’m a fighter. I believe in the eye-for-an-eye business. I’m no cheek turner. I got no respect for a man who won’t hit back. You kill my dog, you better hide your cat.