In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
MARK TWAINA successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
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Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
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Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
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If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
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Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.
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I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!
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It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
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The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.
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I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
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It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.
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Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
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Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
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Be good and you will be lonesome.
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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
MARK TWAIN -
The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
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If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
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Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
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Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.
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It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
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Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.
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In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
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Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
MARK TWAIN