I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
MARK TWAINAction speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
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Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.
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Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
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Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
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I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!
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Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
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In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
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Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
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The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.
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All right, then, I’ll go to hell.
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Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
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Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
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Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
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Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
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The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
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I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
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A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.
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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
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Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
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In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
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When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.
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