If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
MARK TWAINIf you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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Be good and you will be lonesome.
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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
MARK TWAIN -
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
MARK TWAIN -
Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.
MARK TWAIN -
The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
MARK TWAIN -
Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
MARK TWAIN -
The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
MARK TWAIN -
The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.
MARK TWAIN -
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
MARK TWAIN -
I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
MARK TWAIN -
Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
MARK TWAIN -
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
MARK TWAIN -
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
MARK TWAIN -
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
MARK TWAIN -
Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.
MARK TWAIN -
When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.
MARK TWAIN -
It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.
MARK TWAIN -
Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
MARK TWAIN -
A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
MARK TWAIN -
The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
MARK TWAIN -
Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
MARK TWAIN -
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.
MARK TWAIN -
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
MARK TWAIN -
I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them.
MARK TWAIN