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Mark Twain Quote - If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

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Bite Dod Funny Human Nature Loyalty Man

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If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
MARK TWAIN

Information Media Newspaper
Be good and you will be lonesome.
MARK TWAIN

Alone Goodness Life Loneliness One Liner Reality
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
MARK TWAIN

Darkness Deep Healing Human Nature Moon Privacy Sad
I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
MARK TWAIN

Approve Attend Funeral Funny Humour Insult Letter
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
MARK TWAIN

Eat Fight Food Life Secret Success
Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.
MARK TWAIN

Certain Education Ignorance Miserable Path
The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
MARK TWAIN

Effective Happiness Human Laughter Race Reality Weapon
Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
MARK TWAIN

Emotion Inspirational One Liner Sincere
The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
MARK TWAIN

Effective Happiness Human Laughter Race Reality Weapon
The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.
MARK TWAIN

Die Friendship Trouble Worth
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
MARK TWAIN

Accident Funny Humour Invention One Liner
I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
MARK TWAIN

Finding Hate Humour People Travel
Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
MARK TWAIN

Animal Cruel Man Pain Pleasure
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
MARK TWAIN

Born Dead Death Fear Inconvenience Inspirational Suffering
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
MARK TWAIN

Give Up Human Nature Humour Smoking Time World
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
MARK TWAIN

Born Inspirational Life Positive Reason Success Wisdom
Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.
MARK TWAIN

Deep Healing Lost Mind Missing One Liner
When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.
MARK TWAIN

Advice Angry One Liner Patience Swear
It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.
MARK TWAIN

Convince Fools People Reality
Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
MARK TWAIN

Help Humanity Man Moral Wisdom
A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
MARK TWAIN

Coward Deep Lying One Liner Truth
The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.
MARK TWAIN

Dog Dreamss Gentleman Heaven Hope Man One Liner
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
MARK TWAIN

Majority Reform Time Wisdom Yourself
Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
MARK TWAIN

Age Birthday Indicate One Liner Smile Wrinkle
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.
MARK TWAIN

Country Deserve Government Help Patriotism Support
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
MARK TWAIN

Acid Angry Harm Hurt Vessel
I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them.
MARK TWAIN

Book Criticize Except Hate

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