“The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.”

You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them.

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.

The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

Free speech gives us the ability to react vigorously with effective arguments and expose the weakness and misdirection of the other side’s claims.

Persuasion is more effective than force.

Democracy is not possible without effectively working legal system.

The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.

The competition between me and Bill Gates, probably: Who can spend money more effectively that can do better philanthropy.

Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is the ability to act effectively, in spite of fear.

To be prepared for war is one of the most effective means of preserving peace.

Character may almost be called the most effective means of persuasion.