What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
MARK TWAINIt takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
MARK TWAIN -
Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
MARK TWAIN -
The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
MARK TWAIN -
The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
MARK TWAIN -
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
MARK TWAIN -
The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.
MARK TWAIN -
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
MARK TWAIN -
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
MARK TWAIN -
When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.
MARK TWAIN -
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
MARK TWAIN -
April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
MARK TWAIN -
If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
MARK TWAIN -
All right, then, I’ll go to hell.
MARK TWAIN -
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
MARK TWAIN -
Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
MARK TWAIN