“Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.”

You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them.

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.

The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents.

You are not here accidentally – you are here meaningfully. There is a purpose behind you. The whole intends to do something through you.

We don’t make mistakes. We just have happy accidents.

The accident was a horrible thing – but that horrible thing made Chris, at the end of his life, Superman. It’s a happy irony if there is such a thing. I’m proud to have known him.

The principle of self-government cannot be violated with impunity. The individual’s right to it is sacred – regardless of class, caste, race, color, sex or any other accident or incident of birth.

We do not suffer by accident.

There is nothing that is an accident.

The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances.