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Mark Twain Quote - What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

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Create Disappointment Father Heaven Humour Man Monkey

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The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.
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Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
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In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.
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The secret to getting ahead is getting started.
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April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
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Obscurity and a competence – that is the life that is best worth living.
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The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
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My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.
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A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
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I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.
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When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
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Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
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The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
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If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be – a Christian.
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If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
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It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.
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When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.
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Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
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I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!
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Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt.
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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
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If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
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