In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
MARK TWAINAnger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
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If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
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I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
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Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.
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Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
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The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.
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The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
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I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
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Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
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To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
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It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
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The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
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If voting made any difference they wouldn’t let us do it.
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The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.
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My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.
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I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!
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Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
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You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.
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Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
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In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.
MARK TWAIN