Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
MARK TWAINIf you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
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It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
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Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.
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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
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Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
MARK TWAIN -
My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAIN -
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
MARK TWAIN -
All right, then, I’ll go to hell.
MARK TWAIN -
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
MARK TWAIN -
The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
MARK TWAIN -
There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
MARK TWAIN -
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
MARK TWAIN -
The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
MARK TWAIN -
I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them.
MARK TWAIN -
If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be – a Christian.
MARK TWAIN -
The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.
MARK TWAIN -
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
MARK TWAIN -
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.
MARK TWAIN -
If voting made any difference they wouldn’t let us do it.
MARK TWAIN -
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
MARK TWAIN -
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
MARK TWAIN -
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
MARK TWAIN -
I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
MARK TWAIN -
In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
MARK TWAIN -
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
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Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
MARK TWAIN