I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
MARK TWAINAll you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.
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To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
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There’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.
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I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them.
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There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.
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It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.
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It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.
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Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
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If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be – a Christian.
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The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
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Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.
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If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
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In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.
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When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
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What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
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I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
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The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
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A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
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Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
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Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
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The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
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Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
MARK TWAIN