“Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.

To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.

In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.

The secret to getting ahead is getting started.

History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.

If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.

The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Be good and you will be lonesome.

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

Many argue; not many converse.

You load your words as I bare my chest, and this will be the most beautiful death.

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments.

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.

To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.

A man lives by believing something: not by debating and arguing about many things.

It’s unarguable that the right shoes can really add elegance to an outfit and to the person who’s wearing them. Take a pair of high heels, for instance. Suddenly, you’re looking taller, shoulders back, body curved.

When heart speaks and heart listens, harmony is produced. When head talks and head listens, argument is produced.