Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
MARK TWAINNever argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
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A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
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A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
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Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
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Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.
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The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.
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The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.
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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
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Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
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I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them.
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I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
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I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
MARK TWAIN