Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
MARK TWAINAnger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
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Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.
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Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
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Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
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I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
MARK TWAIN -
Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
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Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.
MARK TWAIN -
A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
MARK TWAIN -
Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
MARK TWAIN -
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
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There’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.
MARK TWAIN -
It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt.
MARK TWAIN -
The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
MARK TWAIN







