You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARXBehind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances.
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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If I hold you any closer I’ll be in back of you!
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX -
Humour is reason gone mad.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
GROUCHO MARX