One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARXBehind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.
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Time wounds all heels.
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In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart’s beat.
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Go, and never darken my towels again.
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Any place I hang my head is home.
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Humour is reason gone mad.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Do you mind if I don’t smoke?
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX