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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

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Man One Liner Success Victory Wife Woman

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
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Father Funny Humour Plastic Surgeon Surgeon Women
When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
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Best Friend Friendship Funny Goodness Jail Try
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
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Feeling Man Naughty One Liner Sex Woman
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
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Control Fate Fortune Life Man Women
If you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce, they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
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Applesauce Cranberry Taste
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
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Alcohol Beer Believe Funny
Anything that can’t be done in bed isn’t worth doing at all.
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Bed Inspirational Lazy One Liner Worth
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Funny Hospital Humour Parked Run Taxi
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
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Equality Freedom Prejudices
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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Best Friend Deep Failure One Liner Unhappy
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel.
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Channel Cry Laugh Selfish Watch World
My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Children Love Mother
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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Dead Funny Man One Liner Stop Watch
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
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Elephant Funny Humour Morning Pajama
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
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Funny Hero Heroine Tits
Who says Television isn’t educational, as soon as the T.V. comes on I read a book.
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Book Education Reading Television

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