A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARXLearn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s.
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We left New York drunk and early on the morning of February second.
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While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
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If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.
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Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX -
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman.
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Die in the West and you’re halfway to Heaven.
GROUCHO MARX -
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
GROUCHO MARX -
Everyone must believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
GROUCHO MARX -
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
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The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around.
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He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX






