I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARXIf you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Time wounds all heels.
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Whatever it is, I’m against it.
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My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
GROUCHO MARX -
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
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If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
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Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
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Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
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The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX