I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
GROUCHO MARXIf you are one of those lucky persons who own a pen that writes underwater, you might try living in a swimming pool.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!
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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
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Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
GROUCHO MARX -
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX -
I’ve got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX -
A very interesting theory makes no sense at all.
GROUCHO MARX -
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX -
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
GROUCHO MARX -
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
GROUCHO MARX -
I must admit, I was born at an early age.
GROUCHO MARX -
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX